The other day I was out drinking with my buddies and I saw a friend of mine from kindergarten, and noticed that he had these dreadful acne scars. Now I know that’s not a very nice or kind thing to say to somebody, but I’ve been extraordinarily petrified of acne ever since I was a kid. There was one troubled kid, who we later discovered was really born from a jackal and switched at birth, used to chase all the girls around with this shimmering blackhead removal tool. Of course, that all came to a nasty end during the earthquake, and the ground opened up and swallowed him whole. Of course, all of this may be a offensive hallucination implanted into my brain by a less than ethical camp counselor when I was in the sixth grade.